First I would like to start off by saying Happy Holidays to everyone. Well I went out yesterday to Starbucks to get some coffee and to really think about what I would write about this week and I came up with eight somewhat alright topics and I was sure I was going to write about it yesterday afternoon, but never got to it. I woke up this morning sure that I would write on that topic, but as the day went on I decided I was going to wait on writing on that topic until later this week. With that being said, I decided to write on a topic that has been on my mind a lot lately.
Lately if you have asked the people around me or my parents they would say that I have been in a funk. I’ve been somewhat isolated and I’ve been quiet. With that being said, I guess you could say I’ve been in a funk. When I think about when I was just starting high school at 14 almost 15 years old I am not where I think I would be at 21 years old. I thought I would be at some bigger college where ever I lived, but here I am in a joint admissions programs with a community college and the University of Houston Downtown. I thought I would be out in a dorm or in an apartment with a friend (granted I will be living on my own in an apartment in the later part of this year.)
So, I started to think today where do I see myself 10 years from now? I honestly guess that is a question people ask themselves multiple times in their lives. Well, when I started to think about it I saw myself out of Texas somewhere in the North Eastern United States, because I always wanted to live there. I have finished grad school, have met the love of my life and have been married for a few years now. We have a kid and I get to travel all around the world with work. In my mind this is what I expect my future to be like and as much as it would be great, when I think about it I really hope it doesn’t end up this way.
Where do I realistically see me life in 10 years? Well, I do see myself out of grad school and working and I do have a child. Now do I see myself in the North Eastern United States with the love of my life? No. I see myself still in the Houston area as a single parent. I know being a single parent is not the easiest thing thin the world, but with the support system I have I know I could pull it off. I’m not saying that I will never meet the love of my life, I’m just saying that I don’t think I will meet him in the next 10 years. I’m honestly okay with the idea of not meeting the love of my life in the next 10 years.
When I think about how much I want to be a parent, I think about how much my parents want to be Grandparents. Honestly, when I think about my parents the only thing they want to be more than retired in Grandparents. Growing up, I never really got to see my grandparents a lot. My mom’s mom died before I was born and the same with my dad’s dad. I saw my mom’s dad as much as we could before he passed away when I was in the seventh grade. He was honestly one of my best friends. When it comes to my dad’s mom I’ve seen her a few times, but not as much as my mom’s dad and we never really had the same relationship.
When it comes to my child, I want them to be able to be close and have strong relationship with their grandparents. I know it is hard growing up and losing a grandparent or not having a strong relationship with them and I don’t want that for my child. I would be happy living in the Houston area with my child so I could bring him or her over to my parents house every weekend except when my parents are out of town so that my child and parents could have the relationship that I wish I could of with all of my grandparents.
I guess in the long run, the reality of my future is very much Gilmore Girls with being a single parents, Friday night dinners with my parents, a career and a closeness with my child.
With that all being said, I guess the most curious thing of all is life. We never know where life is going to take us or what it has in stored with us, but I do know one thing. That one thing is, don’t stress too much on life. Life is going to throw a bunch of curveballs at you, but life does that to help you. Life puts people in our lives to help teach us lessons and sometimes life is the one who is teaching us lessons. I’ve had this expectation of where I thought life would take me, but when I think about it, I hope that isn’t how my life turns out. So, relax and let life work it course. Enjoy the small things like Sunday afternoon dance parties (if you want to see the video that I made of my afternoon dance party today let me know,) and raking up leaves in the beautiful weather, because it is the little things in life that makes it wonderful and helps you learn.
Now where do you think you will be in 10 years?
Troilism (sometimes spelled triolism) refers to sexual activity in which three persons take part simultaneously.
I don’t know if it is me, but lately the whole idea of threesomes, or Ménage à Trois have been a lot more apparent; whether it is from media sources like TV shows, movies, and books to the ever real message from someone asking if you’d be interested in having a threesome. So I wonder, what are people’s opinions on threesomes, and why do they think the idea of threesomes appeal to people.
For me personally I find sex to be a thing that should be kept between two people. The idea of bringing in a third person into the mix I feel takes away from the passion and the emotion of closeness that should be felt during sex. Now I know that threesomes are not my thing, but I know that it is for some. I believe that threesomes appeal to people, because of the taboo that has been placed on upon it.
Now I was curious about what some of my friends felt on this subject so I decided to ask them these questions and here and some of the responses I got.
Ginger is a college student in her early 20s. Ginger herself has been in a threesome and felt that it worked out great. No one was in a committed relationship which she feels is the best way to have a threesome. Ginger feels that when a committed couple decides that they want to have a threesome after it is over one person in the couple could start to have feelings of jealousy or hurt, because the other could be giving their attention to the other person, or the other person could be giving more attention to one member of the couple. Ginger says that the best way to have a threesome is with no strings attached and have it will people that are comfortable with their sexuality. Ginger shares the idea that threesomes appeal to people for the fact that there is a taboo on the whole idea from society. She also feels that people get a sense of accomplishment from having a threesome, especially in the heterosexual community which leads me to my next friend.
Luke is a heterosexual college freshman. Luke has been trying his whole first semester to find people to have a threesome with. He was telling me that on his campus there are guys always running around especially in the frat he is trying to get into talking about what they slept with two girls last night constantly and he wants to be able to proudly say that he has completed that “task”. I asked Luke why not just say that he has done it, because how does he know that the guys running around saying they slept with two girls the night before are telling the truth? Luke told me that he has thought about that, but he wants to be able to say he has actually done it so he feels like a man. His dad told him on his way up to set up him dorm how he had multiple threesomes in college and that made him a man. So for Luke having a threesome is about being able to feel accomplished and to finally be a man. (There are many other ways to be a man Luke… just saying if you read this.)
Now to my last friend Jacob a late 20 something homosexual financial analyst who has been in a committed relationship for two years (or at least was.) Jacob and his boyfriend Paul have been dating each other for the past two years and it seemed like there has never been an issue between the two. A couple of months ago they were talking about spicing up their sex life some, and Jacob and Paul decided to jump into the world of ménage à trois as Jacob put it. They found a guy to join them in this encounter. Jacob thought everything was going fine through the encounter until the next morning when Paul wanted to talk. Paul was okay with the idea of having a threesome, but after it occurred he realized it was not his thing. Jacob who really enjoyed the threesome didn’t want Paul to feel bad about it so he told him “It’s okay babe, we don’t have to do it again. It was worth a shot we can try other things to spice up sex.” Now you may be thinking well that was nice of Jacob for being understanding, but sadly Jacob who loved the troilism sex style has been finding other people to have threesomes (but he prefers the term ménage à trois) without Paul knowing. Jacob said that the reason he loves having sex with more than one person at a time is because he likes the feeling that two people are sharing that passion and closeness with him; the appeal that two people wanting to be with him gives him a feeling of a high that he used to feel with Paul when their relationship started off.
I asked Jacob “Well, if that is how you feel, why not leave Paul if that feeling isn’t there?”
Jacob said “I can’t leave him after all this time for something like that. Especially if I can just find some people on the side to satisfy that need. I love Paul, I just need to find that spark in our sex life again, until then ménage à trois are for me.”
I guess there are no set answers to why people like or dislike threesomes, but I think as society changes as a whole on it opinion on sex and lifting the taboo on it I feel that we will see a more openness than we already are about threesomes.
The other day while I was bored searching the internet, I decided to go look up the newspaper from my hometown The Minot Daily News. While on the paper’s website I found the daily records and decided to take a look at the district court records. I spent about a good thirty minutes looking through the district court records. Now seeing some people who I know name’s show up was a bit of a shock to me, but what really got me was seeing the amount of people who are 40+ years of age going to the district court. It really made me start to think, at what age or point in life should people realize that their actions/choices have impacts on their lives?
Now yes, there were plenty of young people who were listed in the district court records, but the amount of people who are 40+ just shocked me. Now the criminal offenses that these people where in court for ranged from unpaid tickets, drunk driving, and drug offenses. The little traffic violations didn’t really make an impact on me. The drunk driving, drugs, and hell even some physical assault offenses are what really got to me.
I guess you could say I’ve been lucky in my life that I never really have been around adult who had issues like that. I had a family member who had a drunk driving issue when I was young, but I didn’t hear about that until I was a lot older. It’s just to me, when people get to a certain age in my opinion 30 years old it is time to stop this crap out and grow up. I know for some people that is hard and there are many factors that play into making stopping difficult, but I just don’t understand why people past their 20’s having issues with drugs or drunk driving. With the people that I saw that were 40+ years old all I could think about was here you are getting in trouble, but what kind of message are you sending out to young people or hell what kind of message are you sending out to your kids if you have them by getting arrested and going to jail? Secondly, how is this benefiting your life? Well for some that get some time in jail it could be beneficial, because it gets you out of the lifecycle you were living temporarily, but not forever for some.
So for me by the time you are 30 years old and hell earlier if at all possible (which is better in my opinion), it is time to start considering how your choices/actions are going to affect your life. Now I am curious, in your opinion at what age or point in life should people realize that their actions/choices have impacts on their lives? Sound off below.